I was in a state of emergency last night over an unresolved conflict with friends. It seems as if they shy away from fights and would instead rather leave someone hanging than let her know the truth. As a girl raised in a home full of yelling (and even when my dad wasn't yelling, he was loud), with a man that grew up with 13 people that only knew how to express one emotion, that being anger, this sentiment bothers me.

I don't know how much detail I have to give, but the long and short of it is that in the name of my friend Sarah, her friend Robin un/intentionally hurt me. I responded to her email by telling her that I was very hurt and have gotten nothing in return. Last night, I found out that she is very concerned about the whole incident, maybe even more so than I was concerned before last night. See, she has to eat her words, and words are never tasty, but I tend to eat mine a lot. I would feel bad for her, but in this case, I find it hard to have any sympathy for her, especially because she left me hanging for more than a week. True, she is not my friend, but in my book, if you care about someone enough to say hurtful things to them, you should care enough to apologize. Not doing so would be the same as beating someone up in an alley way and then seeing the damage you caused and walking away as if nothing happened.

That analogy might seem like I am taking things out of proportion, and I might be taking them out of proportion, but I've had my feelings hurt and then been left to hang with only my thoughts on what is happening. And my thoughts can make up some bad things. The reality is that Robin is too chickenshit to eat her own words and allow me to feel better, a reality I had not even thought of. That reality does not pardon Robin. To add another layer to this argument, Robin was trying to help Sarah when she said the mean things to me, and the fact that Sarah has remained silent on this issue does not help my picture of her either. Matt, my main confidant in this issue, the one that knows all three of us, listened to me tearfully break down my feelings and promised to email Sarah last night. She was on AIM this afternoon (she is in France at present) but I quickly went invisible because I would rather have an email from her than an IM. I have not gotten any kind of response. Thats not helping her case either.

All in all, I can't believe that these people do not know how to handle a fight. I might have some pity if they were a great deal younger, but Sarah and Robin are a year my senior and apparently, Robin flies off the handle quite a bit. You'd think that with her temper, she would know how to deal with this kind of a situation. Its odd, I've never been so happy to have grown up in a tumultuous environment before. Having fights with my parents actually prepared me for the rest of the world, in a way. But, of course, it did not prepare me for a fight with people that don't know how to fight. Its a shitty situation, I hope none of you ever go through something like this.